I love you, I just couldn't tell

It’s quite fascinating for me to witness great love stories. The way two people blend, adjust their behaviors, frictions to complement each other to form a relation is such an endeavor. It’s lovely knowing this affable side of every human being – these little things we do for the other one.
Though the one that most interests me is the one where there is this person who can’t express and the counterpart which expects a lot. There is love I’m so sure between them; it’s just that he doesn’t like showing affection. I think am sure about this because I think I’ve lived the part. We love, we just can’t tell so often.
It’s not denying that expressing is important, it sure is. Somehow, we’re so involved in the other things we do; we tend to get too engrossed in it. Boring, the way we’re – the only thing we can talk is that or nothing. Hey, the good news – we’re thinking about you all the time. In some cases, we’re engrossed in the work so that we could express our love in the largest possible way through that work. That’s a bit strange, yeah, but that’s the way we’re. You were just not patient enough to wait for the expression and left us with the criticism of not ever loved you. And yeah, also that work was the reason it didn’t work out.
May be you were not wrong perhaps the wait was too long or you were feeling alone despite being together. Atleast, give a chance to get things back in place. I just need to be asked things because I don’t understand hints. Trust me on getting to know what is discomforting you, I’d go out of my way to make sure you feel great. Yes, I also plan surprises for you but there is no one I can consult about it and only you who can help me with all this. You think I can’t even plan surprises, it’s just that I only express things to you and plan my ways after discussing things with you.
You gone, leaving behind the criticism rattles my confidence. The expression shrink that I was – I got worse after that. There is so much of frustration and untold stories that I feel vulnerable to even the most minute of sympathies. I’d love someone to hear me out but I refrain telling a tale because it involves you. Also because there is no one I can speak to like the way I did with you. Just try being patient with me (us). And yes, I’m trying hard to change. I loved you and I still do, I just that I couldn’t tell. That’s just the way I’m.

- Bhavesh Dodi(y)a

Facebook First!(Twitter & Orkut too..)

It was 2004 when I first learned to create an email account and now 5 years down the line, I’ve an account on every e-mailing site, exist on every social networking website (ya, even on tagged.com). The times when even a “Hello, how are you doing?” made me feel important has transformed to 6000+ boring scraps. It’s the most significant part of my life – internet. Significant, not because I got a 1 million lottery over the web but I’ve been observing that I want every small significance of my life to reflect on facebook first. That’s why, yeah, a thing with lots of significances- significant.
It’s become such an addiction that updating my status has now become more important than bread & butter or even going to the loo. Buy the movie tickets later but tweet about watching a movie first, with friends after a long time but update through mobile web that you’re having a great time with them. Where is the great time if your priority is to tweet first rather than enjoy being with them?
I remember one day I saw this friend of mine take a really insane quiz (the new way to know yourself –FB quizzes. BREAK). Anyways, the quiz was, “Which Dil Mil Gaye character are you?” and his answer was Armaan. He says and I quote, “Yay, Armaan. Wat say gals?” Girls, I don’t know what they’d say if they saw you for real. WTF may be…
Even if I looked an idiot, my facebook and orkut profile must be really beautiful & my display pic – Star Studded (stud refers to me). After some sweet comments on the picture by my chweet-chweet FB friends (fucking pretenders*), I joined Orkut’s Most Stylish People community. The biggest achievement of my life has been that the community had my picture as it’s display for a day. Whoa!!! Thank god for orkut. Otherwise I’d have died of the guilt that I did nothing. At least now my parent wouldn’t complain that I do nothing worth. I’m the face of orkut after all. LOL
There are lots of things you’d see around you happening really amazing. I thought clicking pictures was for memories buts now its because you want to show it off on these sites. This group of girls & guys were posing & working out which snap would get the maximum praisy-praisy comments. (courtesy: fucking pretenders again*). Pranks have reduced to putting up an embarrassing picture of a friend and others giving their ridicule comments on it. What the hell?
Okay now I think I’m being too critical?
Let me tell you something good it has done.
No don’t expect: Being in touch, sharing lives, networking, new friends & those crap bullshit defends…
The good it has done is for people who can’t talk. It has given them the platform (read: the keyboard) to stand up & speak. Observe their ‘Right to Express’. Gone are the days when girls only went to bold guys who talk with a great sense of humor, everyone here is a rock star & can have the LOL’s coming in from the chicks. Ya, some studs have ‘LMAO’ come in as well, lucky fellas. It’s given the introverts & writers like me a privilege to tell those hot chicks that, no we’re not boring. We’re adventurous and we love bungee jumping & scuba diving too. Wooing a girl has become a lot easier in this world of twitterati.
119crores and plus (+1, +2, +3…lol) and only 5% of the country’s population is on the net. Imagine how life would change even if 60crores of them were tweeting & facebooking & orkutting. Would be enigmatic to know ‘which cartoon character my dad is?’ (ROFLMAO….gals you can comment ‘lol’ for this one)

Funny world – Social networking rather Virtual Networking. Just hope I start living for real and stop being so virtual about everything. (I’m a great farmer as well by the way). I want this to be an ‘extension of me’ and not ‘ME’.
I hope you get the message. Till then happy facebook(ing) & orkutting & tweeting too.
- Bhavesh Dodi(y)a

Worth a (tarot) Read!

The one thing that I really expect people a lot of people to agree upon is that knowing about the future fascinates them the most, isn’t it? Knowing about his own life, what’s going to happen is one knowledge hardly can anyone resist. Me too!

Sitting with a friend who reads Tarot cards and asking questions to him put me in to write something I noticed. The most questions that I came across were things related to money, love & showing someone down. As a teenager or as a person who’s still building up his life, these are the questions that really matter. Even though money matters the most and that’s the most tempting thing to ask, the more interesting things are the questions about love and showing someone down.

“Will I get her back?”
“Would I marry her or is she the one?”
“I really want to prove it to him & show him this & that”
“I want to make him/her regret.”

Well, these are the questions where the tarot card reader actually sells in making you ask more? (Salesmanship is always appreciated. Kudos). For e.g. the freaking gal has gone and she’s never going to come back. You know that so well. The card shows some devil thing but the card reader says, “Dude look, difficult but then there isn’t a no anywhere in the card. If you be the king and seek her, the major card will overpower the minor card.”

“Yeah okay, there’s this person who’s really pissed off me and my parents. I want to give it back to him”

The answers to these questions keep spinning your mind more than any other. You really then don’t think about the answers to whether you would be a MBA or no, whether your next academic year be nice or no, whether your ailing(complaining as well) would do fine or no?
Why is the latter not so important? Perhaps, these are the real kicks of life. The feeling of saying, “Fuck you man, here I’m above you. This is in return of what you did to us.” You know there’s this great feeling in even thinking about the scenario happening. I am already pumping my fist when I imagine that happening. It brings a devil smile on my face. (I can see you pumping it too)

The thing that I really now don’t expect you to agree upon is that these questions didn’t really make me feel good about myself. I mean I don’t want to live my life to show someone down. I don’t want to wait my life so that I would want to have her back or make her regret. I wanted myself to ask questions about living life. Life, me and a Higher power – its our battle. Its not even about money, its beyond that - beyond people, beyond clashing egos. My life should be to explore lands, explore people, explore nature, explore the world, explore myself.
I’ve come, I’ll go & then I’ll reincarnate. My soul would fuck some other body’s mind with the same fucking questions about money, love and showing someone down. Nah, I can’t make that mistake. Fascinating would be the cards telling me and I making sure I live to the fullest and experience a new thing God has created. Be it as miniscule as how someone in Nigeria manages to live despite the falling economy.
I think you always take something when you die. Lots of things you experienced & the content of making a difference in the world. The satisfaction is much higher than showing the bastard that you were superior or that girl that you were never wrong.


God would be too pleased to reincarnate you to another life so that you make it worth living like the way you did the last time. Get back to living life for your own self & ask the tarot card reader,
“Tell me if I would live my life the way I’d love to?”
The card has to be a YES & he wouldn’t be able to sell you any further (lol).


- Bhavesh Dodi(y)a

Election Frenzy - Govern & Not Rule!

The financial backbone of the country, the most written about state – Maharashtra is having its elections. Being such an important state of the country with cities like Mumbai, Nashik, Pune, Nagpur etc., the political parties are trying their best to get the power in hand. Imagine the most looked upon land in the country, thousands of people from all over the world pouring in everyday so that they could make a living, and you having the authority to function it the way you want it. What fortune if that happens?
As of now, there are a few strong contenders vouching for that fortune:
- the Congress – NCP
- BJP – Shiv Sena
- And the new revelation MNS

As a mumbaikar, young voter and a futuristic citizen, I don’t know if anyone would be able to fulfill the needs of people or any party has the courage to stand up and deliver good infrastructure, resources, education & standard of living for the common man. Spiderman says, “With great power, comes greater responsibility”. Politics synonyms power more than responsibility in India.
The dictionary meaning of the word ‘politic’ says showing good judgment & thus politics is the art & science of governing & influencing people or a country in the right way. What good judgment has any party shown?


Congress-NCP - Well, the 26/11 attacks on heritage hotel like the Taj; open firing on innocent people at a crowded railway station is itself a showcase of their poor security for the people. Things like poor transport, inflation of daily commodities, farmer suicides is the height of tolerance with a party carved under the likes of Gandhiji & Nehru.


BJP-Shiv Sena - Initially, the BJP showed which showed some promising future is just crumbling day by day. With the high command of the BJP undecided upon their main leader, Shiv Sena shows no signs of a great leader as well. The times of Balasaheb Thackeray, AB Vajpayee, Pramod Mahajan, Manohar Joshi etc. have gone. It’s time for Uddhav Thackeray, now is it really time? Well….???A leader who is famous amongst the media and the minds of the people for not being able to imply that he has the potential of functioning an organization as influential as the Sena, don’t know how much the vote banks would help him?


The Sena had someone influential with them who parted ways to form his own league – Raj Thackeray with his MNS. A party with its vision bound by just Maharashtra was some hope for the striving human resource of the state. But even these high expectations are crumbling as miniscule things are made to be national issues.
So what if someone is a north Indian and selling pani puris or driving taxis, you can’t ridicule them. So what if some film-maker used Bombay instead of Mumbai in his film. The MNS has no right to decide if it hurt mine or anyone’s sentiments. So what if the biggest artist family in the country – the Bachchans wish to speak in Hindi, you have no right to tear their posters and make them apologize. Raj Thackeray and his men are talent, skill, leadership gone the wrong way.

As a Maharashtrian, I’m confused about whom to vote and upon a larger view whom should the public bring in to power? Some politician who had 10Crores in 2005 now has 20-30Crores with him. I never knew politics as a business had such a turnover. For god’s sake, we want someone to take care of our farmers, someone who cares that the street lights in my lane has not been working since the past three months. Please lighten the lamp, enlighten our lives. Don’t Rule, Govern.
A request from a disheartened, grieving public of the most promising province of the world – we want you. We need your management to help us be happy for the coming 5 years at least. We all are well-versed with your tricks & techniques of being good in politics; just add an emotional quotient of goodwill in it for the people of Maharashtra. I believe, the person standing next to me in the bus for a seat believes, the illegal hawker on the road believes that Maharashtra is a land of opportunities. The opportunities are craving fulfillment just short of a good government.

To the next government who comes in power – We trust in you & have voted for you this time, let’s make this work together. I want myself to say loudly,

And this time not because am born here but with something to show off as well.
Jai Hind, Jai Maharashtra!
May the true hearted deserving win!

- BHAVESH DODI(Y)A

Till the time comes...

It’s that time of life when people around me are so desperately seeking girls and trying to find that ultimate life mate. Some fellow pals who have lost their so called eligible partner are busy quoting love quotes, and how unfair the world is, how ruthlessly their feelings were played with. A friend of mine who has just got into a relationship thinks this is it and he can do anything in this world for the girl of his life, while another friend is considering getting intimate with his lass. God, the world around me surrounds with the echoes of wooing each other and playing mind games to impress and have the hottest chick by your side.

Being as honest as I can, the vulnerable heart that god has blessed me with as well, the need of love always has managed to creep in. Confession time says that love is the most blissful feeling god has ever created, and that sometime being mushy is what wooing a girl takes. I’m not good at all that and my idea of getting a girl kind of seems gloomy. Not because I think am not good or I don’t know what to talk to them but because the amount of time, amount of emotions that one has to display is out of my expression dictionaries. The dedication that one has to show to prove that yes I’m serious about the bloody two week old relationship is something that needs to be seriously put into quantum physics. Trust me even if 50% of this dedication and determination went to that, no one in my college would score less than 70percentile (read things that you’re supposed to do).

As someone who reads this, me included, the point that the writer’s trying to put across can never be justified. And while putting this one up every line that I write is coming out of a lot of combating my own need of being on the other side of the fence. It’s just an effort to someone who thinks as incompetent as me. My best friend says that it’s high time that I get into a relationship and find a girl. I’m often nagged about the progress I made on the new girl I was talking to the other day. I mean I don’t like her and I don’t think of her as a potential girl friend. I just know when that thing has to happen it’ll, till then I can see around. Getting up at 6.30am sharp without your parents trying to pull you out and scream into your ears to get up is way too satisfying at least as of now. The low phone bills at the end of the month, two movies a week, one Budweiser beer every Saturday night is out of this worrrlddddddd. The only benefit to all this is that when that so difficult to find girl actually comes, the rebel in you is just born. The voice boxes in you can shout like no damn person ever has. And trust me after all that freaking things you had gone through and the criticism of being incompetent to get the love of your life goes out, you’ll be outer space without even a spark of ignition. This euphoria of triumph and getting the love of your life after so much of toiling is beyond my capabilities as a writer. I can feel my hairs standing up with exuberance and I can feel that happening to me.

It’s just about that belief and yes I know that is difficult to do when your last girlfriend gave up on you saying you were too difficult to understand but get that fixed- NO NOT YOURSELF, YOUR Ex-Girlfriend DUDE. She freaking doesn’t know what she’s just missed.
I’m not difficult and nor did I ever change as a person, you just didn’t love me enough. And please don’t be friends with me, I am not going to give you that chance of being forgiven and forgotten. You did something wrong and I can’t let it go so easily. Reading out all this aloud gives me a kick and someday when I have my girl around me and the fruits of the efforts I put in when I didn’t have one(relates to quantum physics and getting up early..lol) in terms of wealth or career or music or anything I was supposed to, I wouldn’t want anything else. Yeah that time I might have surely forgotten and for a change forgiven as well.

So till that freaking good time comes, PEACE!


PS: Any co-incidence or resemblance to any person living/dead is purely co-incidental. This is a work of pure genius and not fictional. You may assumes your reasons of vengeance(lolz)

My 3am Friend

It’s around 2 o’ clock in the night right now. I just switched the TV off and I put the lights off as well. Checked my mobile phone, No New Messages, No Missed Calls. Still I go through my messages, check my log. It read the last call at 12.24 am.

Here’s the scene:

Everything around me is come to a standstill. You can hear even the lowest of noises making a big hear. Everyone in the house is already in for a late Sunday morning sleep, everything is calm and quiet. Despite the calm and quietness around there’s this chaos going on somewhere. Where’s this undisturbed place where things are just clashing every second. Peace and serenity all messed up. It’s the headpiece of mine called MIND.

I almost am getting 60thoughts/minute. They’re just coming in and going out. Perhaps am this one person right now who’s feeling the rush through me. I don’t know why but the desire to express these thoughts out to someone is scaling new heights every second. Thoughts meeting thoughts is the need of the hour.

I think I should call up someone, call up someone and talk it out. Empty my mind, get tired of talking and go to bed and say, “hey you know what, we talked for 5 hours yesterday night, wow!”, update my face book status about my 3am friend the next day.

I really would have done that. I went through my phonebook and found a few potential names who wouldn’t mind giving me a hear and infact am missing my 3am friend a lot right now. But as of now I cannot talk to her. I really would have called up someone but before I picked up the pen and the paper to right something I wished to share with everyone reading this….

Instead of saying a hello to someone on the phone, I get up, go to my balcony, look at the sky, look around for a while. Suddenly don’t know what gets into me, my voice box just says “hello”. Something within me that just asked about how am I doing?

This insane excitement of talking to my myself and being like really a ‘lost it’ person, butterflies went through me, I said ‘great’ enthusiastically or a few deep breathes and picking one thought up, I asked to myself:

Wwhat’s going through you?

I just said,

“ I don’t know, I feel like I need someone. Someone I can talk to someone I can share anything with someone I can tell I don’t like you, someone I can tell I had sex despite having a girlfriend. Someone I can tell you know the last time I accidentally wet my pants, was a week ago. Someone who asks me have you really moved on? And I say no

All those pretending to the world put aside and all this honest answers coming out.

Tell me what you want to do?

You know what I feel like doing all the right things I mean I know what I have to do, I know smoking kills, I know not studying is really not cool. I know having 4 night outs in a week is wrong but I just can’t help myself.

Okay…hey what about your birthday?

On this birthday I really want to call everyone, literally everyone. Ya even that bitch who didn’t call me on her birthday and show them my superiority. Tell them I’m hurt and I fucking don’t care about the fact that you all kicked me out! Call up my best friends up hug them and tell them I love you. Call up my girlfriend and tell her she is the best thing that has happened to me

Smiles!

Hey what about tomorrow’s plans?

Ya man, even though I am short of money. Sunday has to rock I think I should just go out have food skip bowling for one week. I think with less money borrowing isn’t cool. It’s okay.

60 thoughts 60 answers all met with question kept on coming and right answers kept on getting prompted. Even if I did 2 things of the honest answer I gave myself, I would love my 3 am buddy

Cos he was someone I could talk anything to.

I even confessed that the girl I told my friends am going around with, I am not I don’t like her I just talk to her cause everyone says she looks gr8 and I need to have her but actually it is just a fling.

Well I couldn’t have discussed ALL this with my 3am friend, I could have talked for 5 hours sure but not this and actually this is what I want in my 3am friend someone I can tell anything to, I just found him

It’s ME!

(I think you should discover this 3AM friend of yours. Guess some of you might have already did. What say you feel the same about your own friend? Your own 3am friend?)

P.S: I also confessed that despite this blog, I need my friend who hears me out on the phone because talking to one person everyday would be so boring, nai?

P. P. S: The talks mentioned above are all imaginative. I never wet my pants three weeks ago nor did I have sex despite having a girlfriend. Just an attempt to exemplify the fact that we do not get embarrassed talking anything.

- Bhavesh Dodi(y)a

A Girl On The Bench

There's this girl whose sitting on a bench in a beautiful garden. She's all by herself, thinking about all the good times, feeling happy about the nature, greenery around her is making her feel bliss. Everything around is looking so merry.

One fine moment, there's this person who comes and sits besides her. She's hesitant initially but then the girl also wanted to know if the person occupying the seat besides her feels the same or not. Strangely for her(not actually strange), they shared a great rapport. Wow! someone feels the same as her, wonderful! This is the best bench ever, lolz!(You know first loves are always so special)

Uh-oh, due to some reasons the guy goes away. There's no one seating on the bench with her. There's no one to reciprocate her talks. Just that, the void on the adjacent seat. Otherwise it's the same old beautiful garden, same greenery, same her. But all that goes unnoticed. Avoid of a person is missed, despite everything.

She isn't feeling the same about the garden anymore. The place is making her happy no more. The only thing she's thinking about is the seat next to her unoccupied. The only thing that can cheer the girl up right now is the person who sits next to her. The nature, the beautiful environment with so many pleasant things lost out to this one person.

Weren't you happy before someone came into our lives? Now that the bitch/bastard is gone, why are you frowning? ah, lets get back to the happier ways.

Being happier because of our environment. Environment is the people around us. Family, friends, college, office, Facebook, orkut, cigarettes, bandstand, night-outs, yourself.

Environment: We made you happy for so long, we still can! Give us an opportunity, try it out. I know the person seating next to you was/is/would be the most important to you because he got the closest to you. But till the time he isn't around, you can appreciate our feelings, be with us, be happy.

Don't search your happiness so close. Start looking beyond that, there are many things beyond the next seat, there are so many things dying to see you happy. and ofcourse the happiness only gets higher when someone comes next to you. When you feel the void, and feel bad about it, we get hurt. The whole environment gets distracted, the entire garden frowns. Same as your parents, friends, internet, the cigarette tapriwala, chota recharge wala uncle, everyone gets concerned. They want to see you happy, they want to see you talk, smile. Don't let one person decide your mood. Let all these people add to to the way your day goes.

One person can leave you sure, not everyone can leave you at a time. So when you say, "everyone leaves me, everyone has ditched me. THINK AGAIN Coz WE DON't AND WE NEVER WILL. So enjoy, be with us,don't frown. And as the secret goes, happiness attracts happiness.

What happens to the girl???

The girl finds someone sitting next to her on the bench very soon never willing to go...and with them together even the garden seemed great around. Seeing the girl dressed in an angelic white dress smiling and filling the air with her laughter, a bird chirps, "She looks so beautiful when she's happy"

- BHAVESH DODI(Y)A

My 'Kwan'

Ever since I started understanding the worldly things, somehow this got instilled in me that ‘money is the toughest thing to get, it makes this world, and it makes people tick. Money is not everything but perhaps needed for everything’. The people who don’t have money feel earning money is tough, there’s something else tougher. Tough is to get ‘Kwan’, u know what a ‘Kwan’ is? Kwan is attainment of respect, dignity in society & community, health, time with of course money. A complete life: ‘Kwan’ (courtesy: Jerry Maguire).
According to a global survey by me (my globe is restricted to my people); I don’t find many people have ‘Kwan’. Let me tell you something about my people.
My globe includes rich, sophisticated lads with English talking kids who have money till their 2 generations die. ADMIT: I’m fascinated by them
Also includes people who are balancing their life between being rich and fearing become poor and of course people who are striving for all the happiness in the green papers.
Happen to personally interact and be with all these lovely souls, the rich souls who use great CK perfumes by the way if you know. Also people who always want to get some side but fear falling the other side, and also people whom I think am very close to.
I just want to convey that making money may not be as difficult as getting a great life. There’s this man who earns a lakh rupee every few days but his family sucks. He’s a money making genius and I can learn so much from him but that’s it to him. There’s this family of rich people who have everything at their will but they just don’t connect with each other. They hurl abuses at each other asking one another to get a life. There are people who go at the finest of dining restaurants but they just order for themselves, eat and come back. What kind of people I had a fascination for? (I can give better examples but I guess that would get too personal and identical)
The people who wish to attain strong finances in life, issues like abusing your own people, having a troubled marriage, not talking to your own father, whining over a bad childhood can be solved NOW.
Keep money the main issue in life and solve out other issues along the way. Find saving money a family task; dining IN today on Sunday to help your budget would perhaps help your differences. Let’s make earning a fortune a goal which also eventually solves all our emotional grudges. It’s not the intellectual who gets to his desires, but often the emotionally driven. Make your emotions strong, have a great back-from-office time. Trust me you will rock at your get-back-at-work time.
Earning money then just remains, “all upto me.” It’s just you and your abilities, your mind all focused to get that bloody deal, you work your ass for it and 8/10 you’d get it,
For most of us then, it’s just about making a sale; a business rolls money when something sells. If you’re into selling, go out there and make a sale and you’ll earn your money. Is that an effort no? The movie also tells that if you can’t love everybody you won’t sell to anybody. This dude loves everyone because he has a great love in his family rite? Going back home after a tough day at selling, fighting with your mom, getting hit by your husband is a lot complicated to deal with.
So solve your issues while you earn your fortune and after you do, dude you’d have a ball every day. Just in case you don’t, the only good that comes out is you’d have a purpose in life to get something correct. One friend of mine told me money issues can be solved emotional issues cannot be solved so easily. Ya she was rich already then so may be right. I’m not wealthy as yet but luckily I have all my emotional issues in place. How lucky of me! For me, its just boils down to me, my abilities and making that sale and the money starts rolling. I believe I’ve that money already because I already feel the happiness of having it in me, my family and my emotional self. Earning money is so simple; getting a great life is so not. Yet, we all are so much in awe of it, COUNT ME OUT! Why do people see the great life beyond money, its before that I feel. My ‘Kwan’ is on its way towards me, what about you dude???
Get READY for it!!!

- Bhavesh Dodi(y)a

COURTESY

MInd Vs. BodY!!!

(An attempt writing the most difficult things a poetry)

Got a diary, all new and glossed

Waiting to be penned after all it has my name embossed

Wish to write something, may be a poetry or an essay,

Though i travelled, slogged, had a tiring day;

My heart still has so much to say...

Have picked up the pen but want to sleep

Suddenly the shine of the unwritten page alerts a : Beep! Beep! Beep!

"Get up, get up & write something the people will like!"

"New things are coming every second, no thoughts are at all alike."

"Try, try harder my physical mate, you've a reputation to live upto,

Dnt let urself down, or this mood of writing novelty which is so difficult to get into."

"Yeah I knw, I knw. shutup soul, its not easy putting this up;

for i have neva tried, needs words, ideas & rhymes to finish this one up."

"I wish i was a poet naturally, by default;

Would've just thought, penned and made a poetry without any faults.

I guess i'm a writer who needs big pages and lots of words to write the best,

But for that even a good writer needs some rest."

"okay okay i give up, you may write something tomorrow,

but make sure you rock it and please..

Let the poem be short and narrow!

and also....

"Havve sui jaa!!!"

Jerk!!!! 

1. damn mom's awake

2. Diary closed pen down

3. Lights off!

4. zzzzz zzzzz dozed off!!

- Bhavesh Dodia

So Simple So Happy!

You know what comes to my mind when I just shoot the word 'happy?' I see this little boy laughing while he's letting himself loose, seeing the sky with a great scenic beauty around. Now, what would really make me happy? Perhaps, getting a few things in life would make me happy, now say these things:
- Having great health, lots of wealth and proud parents.
- The best girlfriend(s), or a spouse.
- The best of buddies.
Assumingly, I have all this things one day (going by ma records I might not) but I'm very good at imagining things for real, say I have it right now. Okay, I would be happy, but for how long. Obviously I would want to be happier. The parameters are met, that doesn't mean I would be happy forever. Say now, this would make me happy:
- A child
- A BMW 5 series or a Mercedes
- A sea facing bungalow at Bandra
I would get it and I would again shift my parameters and the life finds its reason to be unhappy about not having something.

The simple point I wish to put across is that the want for more never dies (human nature). But I guess I don’t want it to be a reason to make me dull. After having a great love story besides a tragic end of it; why do I think a greater love story and perhaps a more tragic end would make me happy?
Confession: not having someone to love makes me sad sometimes.
Going to college without a bike or a car under my ass makes me sad! Having a cell phone which dies out even after being fully charged twice a day really frustrates me.
Not having things makes me unhappy. That happens with everyone I guess, doesn’t it?

EUREKA!!!
Something majestic happened with me the other day. No matter how tired I'm, my mind never gets tired of coming up with something that makes me think & forget that I have to sleep and break the monotony of getting up at 10.35 ( 5 minutes of extra sleep after my mom yells at 10.30). I slept with the above mentioned thoughts and I got a dream...
Some person whom I consider my idol in life was online at the other end and we were chatting. (The person’s identity is not revealed to avoid copyright issues)
Here's it:
XXX: Dude, hows u? hows life?
dodiabhavesh13_30: Nuin yaar, juss getting bored in here, u say???
XXX: I'm great! Am happy having fun. Having a rocking time!!
(Other adjectives are usual online words for me, but the use of the word Happy was new to the yahoo online fraternity besides the fact that there was not one adjective that I felt was applicable to his life)
dodiabhavesh13_30: what’s happened? I mean did u get a Vertu phone o wat that u so badly wanted???
XXX: No yaar mad o wat?
dodiabhavesh13_30: so????
XXX: I just realized that even if someone gives me the phone today, I guess I wouldn't be happy for much longer. U knew why because I have it and now I will have to move on to something else!
dodiabhavesh13_30: hmmm!!!(Trying to find sense)
XXX: I want to be happy with the fact that I'm doing something to get that. Ya if I would have been doing nothing abt it and u would’ve asked me this; my answer might have been different. But hey am happy and enjoying!!! U say hows u? hows life?
(I didn’t reply for a good 5minutes I guess...)
XXX: BUZZ!!!
After waiting for 10seconds to buzz again
XXX: BUZZ!!!
dodiabhavesh13_30: I'm happy
dodiabhavesh13_30 has signed out


Its 10.35! The next morning...that chat still spinning my mind. I skipped my breakfast, sipped in some tea; I left for a place I visit when I’m not feeling good along with a diary and a pen.
Jotted down things that would make me happy. Out of the 5things I was actually working for 3 and half things that would make me happy.
(Half because I don’t know whether orkutting helps getting you good looking gals)
3 is to 2!! More reasons to be happy. The whole idea is to look back a little and see how good are you trying to be happy? Are you concentrating on being happy or on being sad?
Trust me I'm trying, trust me you're trying, the whole world is trying to be happy. Just that we are seeing our happiness beyond the achievements. I guess the happiness is in the process!
And then even if you don’t get what you've wanted. You wouldn’t be sad, because something that makes u happy, you won’t mind doing again! You might well try harder and achieve something more than what you were set out for. And after you get it, the human nature says MORE
No problems,
Bigger want, bigger the process and eventually bigger the happiness!!!

The fact that we're doing things to make our life better is a good enough reason to be happy. A line in a very famous movie Bawarchi where Mr. Rajesh Khanna said, "It’s so simple to be happy, but so difficult to be simple" It’s this journey of accomplishing the things that must be enjoyed!! Don’t complicate your happiness, make it simpler! It’s really not that difficult...

May be someday when this person adds you up on Yahoo! He might ask u this,
dodiabhavesh13_30: Hey what’s up? Hows U? Hows life?


Don't worry Be Happy!!!


- Bhavesh Dodia

Idiotic Insane and what noT!!!

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain."

Not by Me bt thot must be shared!!!

(UN)CONSCIOUS (UN)LUCK

LUCK!!! Haven’t we always read this word somewhere besides fate around? Haven’t we heard these words somewhere besides success or failure around? Haven’t we used this word somewhere besides making/breaking it around? Being in a very analytical mood, where my unaccomplished dreams are haunting me, I’m into an inspection today. I’m into a detection today of the role of LUCK in someone’s, my fate destiny, life! How much does this LUCK matter?
A person who’s always been observant of people around, I think people have been lucky. I mean when you look back at things they did, the way they reacted to situations, the way they did EVERYTHING right is so natural to them. Just in case you happen to ask such a person about how he could do it, he’d say, “Dude, I didn’t even notice myself doing it.” Yes, but on serious accounting, its conscious hard work and sheer determination.
How often do we see ourselves, people around us, unlucky. These people are accounting every move, analyzing every word said, gauging every result for even a molecule of work done. Even after all these things, they just do ONE thing wrong and the results are different. Just in case you happen to ask this person, how he couldn’t do it, he’d say, “Dude, you know what? You won’t believe I did everything correctly but for this one thing. I guess I wasn’t lucky enough.”
I think I might have been in the second category of people and my thought process was of the unlucky types. I think I did believe in being unlucky until the last 5minutes. I believed I was amongst the most observant people around and I could analyze people, actions and anything right. But some accounting helped…

Here’s WHAT I GOT
People who do everything correctly and successfully are lucky because they work consciously and get unconsciously lucky. People who do almost everything correctly but for few things are unlucky because they work unconsciously and wish luck/ results on work not done to the fullest CONSCIOUSLY.
Compare the acknowledgements on remarkable achievements:
“I never in my life thought I’d be here.”
“I never imagined I’d get this award, I thought I was just like any other artist.”
“God must be crazy to land me in here”

Don’t we here this often and think about how often this,
“I was going to get here for sure, I knew it.”
“I was born lucky and I knew god was giving me this.”

Not much often, we guess!!!

Someone somewhere in the skies wants people to be lucky and make them say, “God must be crazy to give me this, I’m really lucky.” I just feel he just wants us to be unconscious of it. Till the last 5minutes I was consciously unlucky as well. But you know what, someone, somewhere in the sky must be really freaked out to put this thought into my mind suddenly. I’m lucky.” He just wanted me to pick up the pen and the book. I did my work of starting to scribble and he did his!
I think I did everything correctly putting this one up. Just about knowing the difference between conscious and unconscious and about being lucky/unlucky and gauging the right track! This thought might be known to all of us, but there is still a lot of enigma around the word. I feel privileged as a writer to begin discovering the myth, the enigma!

PS: I’m sure you would say, this was fabulous! I’m a born writer. Ha ha ha!!(Finding LUCK CONSCIOUSLY)

PEACE, WISH YOU LUCK!!!!


- BHAVESH DODIA

Whats Right????

“If you love someone with pure feelings, no selfishness whatsoever, that’s love.”
“Love is not about asking, it’s about giving and not expecting anything in return.”
Love is this and it’s that, yeah that’s true love then and haven’t we heard a lot of these in books. A famous director once said that the beauty of love is in its wait, everything going great just doesn’t make a good story. I really am on a lookout for an answer. I mean what would prove that, “okay, you genuinely loved this person.” Lets say, I loved someone beyond boundaries, enjoyed the greatest of relationship with her, the best thing that had happened to me us till then. One day we suddenly broke and the girl was determined she’d never return. But I lived by the fact that if she loved me how can she just call it off. May be she’s just not bold enough to admit it. I tried getting her back but that took her further away.
And after a year of being positive I would get her, the belief got tested. I gradually started learning that she might really not be back. She might just not be back because she cared for someone else more than me and I was not her priority anymore. Well, now what am I supposed to do? Still keep on believing that I truly loved her so she would be back no matter what! I mean there should be something that gives me that hope, there’s none.
Belief and other bull shit are good but I think belief should be practical. If I continue to believe, then am I being practical? If I be practical and forget the great love I had for her, then is my love not genuine, weren’t they true feelings for the lady because I’m not believing I’d be with her. I’m being practical.
What are the characteristics of a true lover?
- Being loyal to her no matter what if she’s not around, even if she’s going around with someone else.
- Believe you would have her back one day despite ALL THIS, where there’s no hope really. Still believe and keep the faith.
- Not go around with other girls searching a potential partner, yeah obviously because you’re being a true lover. So why would you go around?
- In your prayers everyday, pray for her happiness, read her horoscope along with yours because you can’t help your concern for her.
- Though you know, you don’t mean a damn to her, just because its true love, she would always be the someone special. Your dreams are all with that someone.
Where does the impracticality/foolishness end?
The practical life says, Move on. You would find someone better. The impractical/foolish/belief on love says, hang on. If someone better, why not her?
The practical life says, once you start going around you’d forget everything. You just need someone. The impractical/foolish/belief on love says, “How can you go around with someone else? Then may be you never loved her for real. This can’t be so easy for you – move on. You’re demeaning the love you had for her – your ultimate soul mate is her.” The heart says, “Yeah, she still is the one.”
The practical life says you need someone to love you care for you, do those things to you. You’re just missing love and the attention. The impractical/foolish/belief on love says, you did that with her. That was so cute, why not her again? She’s the best with all those moments.
Should I be practical or should I believe in my feelings and wait for her. I don’t understand. The bottom line is that you want the one you love but that doesn’t mean you don’t even try loving some one else. You should be practical, that makes total sense. The impractical/foolish/belief on love motivates me that one day I would proudly say to the world, “I believed, waited, took the pain and I’ve her with me again.” That would be amongst the happiest times, the epitome of living life.” Just imagining the feeling tells me that this is true love. Don’t lose your belief.
Being practical is good and really should be the approach but the pleasure of experiencing the happiness of triumph over the wait appeals to me, “Fuck you practicality. I’m genuinely in love. I want my soul mate, she’s the one and I can’t help myself move on.”
Now then,
Am totally confused and don’t know what should I do? Should I be practical or should I believe in my love? I myself can fight for the both the point of views being right. I think both the approaches can be correct. I’m looking out for an answer. What’s up? What really works?
WHAT”S THE RIGHT THING TO DO IN LOVE???